We Need to be Kinder to Ourselves: Courage, Compassion, Connection
The past few weeks I have been in a frenzy to get my kids up and out the door to send my kids to daycare and NOT be late for work. It has felt insurmountable, and in my rush to work I have chastised myself for all the things I could have or should have done to make it easier, smoother, if I had changed one little thing, my kids would magically skip out the door without protest. I wondered to myself, how does everyone else get their kids out the door and get to work on time? Why is it so hard for me?
Then it hit me. They don’t. Most people feel exactly the way I do.
I have the privilege to work in a job where I get to witness people in their lives. To see their struggles and what makes them feel raw. The good and the bad news is that many of us are in the same boat. We all have things in our lives that drive us crazy and make us feel inadequate. Why is it that nobody talks about it? Or few do anyway. And the sad part is that everyone feels alone in their struggles, even though, if we had the courage to say, “this morning really sucked”. I am SURE that at least half of your co-workers or friends would nod in agreement and in sympathy. We are all unique humans, but the human experience in itself is often not unique.
We ALL have moments that are hard. It’s ok to talk about them.
I am reminded of a TED talk I watched by Brene Brown on being vulnerable, and being courageous. I encourage you to listen here:
This talk is a very eloquent and heartfelt piece on allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. In doing so, it makes us whole.
If we are kinder to ourselves that would be a start. Accept the bad days with the good. Anger and frustration are part of the spectrum of human emotions we were blessed with. We were also given happiness and joy. Life is a balancing act of all of them and we can’t fully express one without it’s opposite. How do you have true joy without sadness. We MUST feel them all, AND allow ourselves to do so without feeling shame about it.
I confess that I am on a journey to allow myself to be vulnerable. It’s hard. It takes courage, but it is what will allow me to forgive myself and be, as Brene says, Whole Hearted.